Jamie Afro, a man so devoted to his hairstyle that he changed his second name by deed poll to 'Afro' has been dumped, like a mouldy old bag of old potato skins, out of X-Factor.

For Jamie (a forty-year-old disco-fitter from Carlisle) and his singing afro, it's the end of a long journey, coming from fighting Japanese pigmie boars in Rhodesia, and arriving at a prime-time Saturday night ITV talent show farce.

But Jamie's exit wasn't the only drama on this weekend's show. Indie disco jock Calvin Harris also attempted to reunite John and Edward with their long lost son.

"Och aye the noo," said Harris. "I just wanted them to acknowledge their bairn."

"It's true," said John or Edward after the show, "we had a baby last year - I can't remember which of us got pregnant, but we think it happened while we were practicing our dance routine for Freak Me Baby.

"Two months later, one of us gave birth to a pineapple. We put it up for adoption, but obviously it's all come out now. We're just glad to know it's okay."

The twins are playing down the significance of their gender-impossible-fathers-of-a-fruit scandal, claiming that Jamie's departure is what the media should be paying attention to.

"I knew my hair had a special gift," said Jamie after losing out to Lloyd Daniels, a singing traffic cone from Cardiff.

"It's rare you find hair that can sing," said Jamie.

"It's even rarer when you find hair that can sing and rock.

"My hair could do both those things. I don't know how it'll take the news. Not well, I'm willing to bet. I might have to put it on razor-watch."

When Jamie first auditioned people weren't willing to believe that it was in fact Jamie's hair that was singing.

"I had to go through a series of rigorous scientific tests to prove it was my barnet doing the bellowing," said Jamie.

"It was harrowing for me, my hair, and mentor Simon, who already had such faith in my bonce.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm long overdue a good pantene sesh."