London
16°C
Cloudy
Humidity: 82%
Wind: N at 0 mph
PETA get it in the neck from Don Cheadle
People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has come under fire this week after the release of a rather grotesque advert, which features polar bears falling from the sky and splatting all over a lovely, and very clean looking, city.
“It’s not grotesque, it’s thought provoking,” said Jeffery Rockefeller-Wycombe, the man behind the macabre wince-fest.
“If only people knew how much damage they were doing to the planet, the polar bears, and basically everything, by selfishly flying around to some fancy country on holiday once, or maybe twice, a year.”
However, it is not the graphic nature of the advert that has brought PETA’s good name into public scrutiny -- far from it.
Recent interviews conducted by The WB found that the majority of people, while a little “grossed-out” by the advert, were actually more offended by the “balls-out hypocrisy” of what PETA were actually trying to asset.
“Your telling me, that me, going on a plane, once every two years, actually kills polar bears - what about wars, the military industrial complex, big fossil fuel tycoons? Aren’t they more to blame, and shouldn’t they be the emphasis of this sick advert, and not me, a common, hard working man from the Midlands,” said Brian, a serial grafter, from Derby.
In addition to this, one of America’s finest tear-coaxers has released his own personal research, which has added weight to many people’s assertions that PETA are a fundamentally flawed pseudo-organisation, that’s probably just “some kind tax deductable-hedge fund for the rich and profoundly shameless”
According to Don Cheadle, America’s number one method actor and part-time investigative journalist, PETA officials clocked up nearly 152,000,000 air miles last year, alone, propagating its “biased” and “slightly hysterical” message to countries “that needed to know.”
“And that don’t even take into account how much they spent on the advert,” said Cheadle.
He added: “I have it on good authority that their location director flew around the US for 2 whole months solid trying to find that exact location they used in the advert.”
“By their maths, and I mean the one they use on the advert, they killed 6,000 polar bears finding that location.”
“And you know where he eventually chose? Fucking Florida - what a cock.”
According to further independent reports, people’s revulsion to the advert isn’t because they’re misanthropic global nihilists, far from it in actual fact.
Apparently, the majority of people do care about the environment, polar bears, and the planet in general, they just don’t appreciate having their tea ruined after work, by the sick and extreme - and probably wrong - interpretation of a socio-politcial problem by a group that relies on charitable donations from them as a supposed necessity .
“It’s bloody disgusting, they should be ashamed of themselves. And people complain about the Marks and Sparks advert, y’know the one - when that guy off a Life on Mars, says ‘o0o0o and now for that fit bird in the underwear’...” Said Gareth Evens from Sussex.
"What has the world come to."
Dim lights Embed Embed this video on your site
